Într-o zi, o femeie tânără, care avea tot felul de probleme și de greutăți, s-a dus la bunica sa să-i povestească despre tot ceea ce trăiește. Nu mai știa ce să facă și era pe punctul de a renunța la tot. Era obosită de atâta luptă și muncă. Avea impresia că orice face, imediat cum reușeste să rezolve o problemă, apare alta.
Bunica a ascultat-o cu atenție, apoi a luat-o de mână și a dus-o în bucătărie. A umplut trei ibrice cu apă. Apoi, a pus în primul ibric un morcov. În al doilea, un ou. A măcinat câteva boabe de cafea și le-a pus în al treilea ibric. Le-a lăsat să fiarbă pe toate. Apoi, s-a întors către nepoata sa și a întrebat-o:
– Ce vezi în aceste ibrice?
– Morcov, ou și cafea.
– Cum simți morcovul?
– Moale.
– Cum simți oul?
– Tare.
– Iar în al treilea ibric ce vezi?
– Cafea. Dar care este ideea, bunico?
Bunica i-a explicat că fiecare dintre cele trei alimente au fost supuse aceluiași stimul: fierberea în apă. Dar fiecare s-a comportat altfel.
– Morcovul, înainte de fierbere, era tare. După, a devenit moale. Oul era fragil, iar după fierbere a devenit tare. Iar cafeaua a schimbat apa, dându-i din savoarea și culoarea ei. Tu care dintre toate acestea trei ești, draga mea? a întrebat-o bunica.
Cu toții avem probleme. Mai mari sau mai mici. Mai multe sau mai puține. Dar nu asta este important, ci modul în care reacționezi tu la aceste probleme.
Deci, tu care ești?
Ești asemenea morcovului care pare tare în situații normale, dar atunci când ceva îl afectează, devine moale, adică își pierde puterea?
Ești asemenea oului care în condiții normale pare fragil și atunci când cevaîl afectează devine puternic, tare?
Sau ești asemenea boabelor de cafea care atunci când sunt fierte schimbă apa, adică atunci când lucrurile pare dificile, găsești puterea de a schimba situația?
Ador aceasta poveste! Este atât de plină de esență! Doar că îmi place să o spun deseori sub o altă formă. Cu mult mai realistă.
În viață, sunt situații care ne lovesc și ne simțim slabi. Asemenea schimbării suferite de un morcov care este fiert. Sunt situații care ne întăresc, chiar dacă nici nu aveam habar că le putem duce. La fel cum se întâmplă cu un ou care este fiert. Dar ceea ce contează cu adevărat sunt acele situații în care suntem precum cafeaua. Adică noi schimbăm situația. Nu doar ne întăresc, ci ne fac să găsim în noi puterea de a interveni asupra a ceea ce se întâmplă.
Totul ține de atitutine. Atitudinea ta. Iar atitudinea este influențată de gânduri. Iar gândurile de emoții. Când emoția este negativă (frustrare, furie, tristețe, dezamăgire, furie, ură etc.), gândul este și el negativ, iar atitudinea de asemenea. Când, în schimb, emoția este pozitivă, gândul și atitudinea sunt la fel. Iar pâna aici am vorbit doar despre morcovi și ouă.
A fi precum cafeaua înseamnă să intervii asupa emoției. Prin gând. Gând controlat și lucrat. Asimilat prin conștient în subconștient.
Să presupunem că ești îngrijorat de problemele vieții. Îngrijorarea este o emoție negativă. Are la bază tot felul de frici. Frica de eșec, frica de penibil, frica de schimbare etc.
Și primul pas este să conștientizezi frica. Și să o lași să fie. Să o privești în față. Adică să îți spui: „Da, acum simt această frică”. Ok. Odată conștientizată și acceptată, poți interveni asupra ei. Modificându-ți gândurile. Adică, în loc să lași să te tot preocupe diverse îngrijorări și să tot faci scenarii despre ce s-ar putea întâmpla, gândește-te: “Ce pot face? Care este partea bună din tot acest rău?” Ce ai putea să faci ca să fie mai bine? Să îți fie ție bine?
Este doar un efort de voință și nimic mai mult. Și orice om poate să facă asta. Să schimbe perspectiva. Autentic.
Când începi să te întrebi care este partea bună și ce ai putea să faci, emoția se schimbă și ea. Doar că este nevoie să îți dorești autentic asta. O variantă ar fi să te gândești că Dumnezeu te iubește și că nu își dorește ca tu să suferi. Deci, dacă ți-a dat o situație neplacută, este pentru că poți să o duci și să o rezolvi. Care este rezolvarea?
O altă variantă, dacă nu crezi în Dumnezeu, este să îți amintești că orice problemă are minim două rezolvări: cea mai bună (care, de obicei, este ideală și greu de abordat) și cea mai proastă (să rămâi în situație și să nu faci nimic, iar situația să se agraveze). Dar, dincolo de aceste două soluții, există o infinitate de alte soluții. Pune-ți creativitatea la bătaie. Care ar putea fi acele alte posibile soluții?
Sau încă o variantă. Imaginează-ți că o persoană foarte dragă îți povestește despre exact ceea ce trăiești tu și îți cere sfatul. Ce i-ai spune? Cum ai încuraja-o? Cum ai determina-o să găsescă soluții?
Deci, orice s-ar spune, atunci când ai probleme și gândești că nu mai ai nici o ieșire din ele, este doar frica ta. Una sau mai multe. Și atunci ce decizi? Te lași să fii morcovul? Sau oul? Sau cafeaua?
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